Future

Mid-term exam had passed
and I achieved a real bad results this time
worse than before
and I'm not improving while all others all trying hard to improve
as to get in better classes next year
so I think to do something
to boast up my studies
and change all my study styles
change my attitudes
I really think much for this 1 month time
from the holidays until now.

My parents do everything to give me a good future
get everything I want
buy me everything I asked for
but I can't do something worth to repay them
first I really felt that I'm a terrible son
not really know how to appreciate their love
and never respect them
always know to talk them loudly
using some words that I shouldn't be using for them ><
I really feel so sorry to them after all
I should've changed myself
in order to get all success
my relationship to my parents
my relationship with my friends
my relationship with Her
my relationship with God
and I have to suffer sometimes really hard
before achieving what I really wants to

I don't wanna give you empty promises anymore
I am always doing the childish way
and causing laughter around
like a fool
I really wanted to stop this stupid habits.
but I just can't get any feelings of secure for me
I have to do this to make myself feel better
so don't scold me if I'm childish sometimes
you know what?
I forced to =(
I will feel very lonely at night
although with your accompanion
only my hands are busy
to text
but not my mouth ><
I want to talk
to share my feelings at night
but I can't
there's no one.
maybe I should choose my parents
but they too have their job
their duties to be done
so I can just keep myself silent through the night
and just phone you sometimes and talk
to make me feel a little bit better
and to make my night stay great =)
I know I can't give any promises now
but I just hope that you really know my feelings
my feelings towards you
towards my studies
towards my future
I did really think about it seriously
but I just felt so lazy to work it out before
but now
I'd really decided to change my own life
to give you and me, everyone beside me a better future
I will do prayer every night
talk to God
ask God to be with us always =)
Count our blessings
God bless everyone

Sorry
if I did wrong to you guys last time
I will try hard to get back our friendship
and I really hope that we will lasts long
friendship forever =)
our relationship never ends

and too for You
I will work hard to maintain this relationship
till the worlds' end =)
Me and You
I meant it
I love you
you're my source of power sometimes
boast me up when I'm down
telling something to comfort me
be with me when I'd hated by others
you're the one I trust the most
you're the one I fighting for
=)
and tomorrow is our 10th monthsary
hoped that we can achieve and maintain our relationship together
no matter where we are
what we are doing
we will be working hard together
just for our future

=)
Last but not least
I still never do any promises now
cause I know
I never need those promises to make a lie for me myself
I just wanna work it out
let everyone sees it =)
know what I'm doing
God bless me

From the inside out -- Hillsong United =)